Time for freedom!
Well, we all knew it would happen eventually, but when I got up to see it this morning, my heart sank. The end of summer is marked by the famous Western Oregon deluge. Purging the air of all uncleanness, satisfying the silent cries of our parched lawn and shrubbery, the sound on the sun room roof crackles like a grass fire in my ears. It dampened my spirits briefly until I got a grip.
Being a native of a colder, more life-threatening climate, this time of year tends to make me anxious. To be sure, it's not like lacking firewood here would cause frozen pipes, and it's rare that a good rain will trap you in your driveway until help comes, but old emotional habits die hard. That gets me to thinkin'...
What bags did I pack when we moved to this place? Did I bring stuff that I could have left behind? I actually DID need my snowboots last year for the first time in 9 years, but do I really need this anxiety over the upcoming season? Did I even need it before we moved here??? What other useless stuff do I have in this bag? There's wind on this line of thought. Really.
Last week someone made a remark that took me back 26 years. It was delivered in a cold, slicing manner, and cut me to shreds. For some reason, I could not shake that damp, sinking feeling. It was shocking to me that this issue even still existed, but there it was, like a fly in a punchbowl. And, the enemy of my soul had been using it to hold me captive in ways seemingly unrelated to the actual event.
I had no choice but to cry out for His healing mercy. All that day, the Creator of the Universe labored in my heart to tear down my old idolatrous altar, long covered up by denial and self-control. Together, we rebuilt an altar to Him in its place. That night, I dreamt all night - cleansing dreams to renew my mind. What feedom I had the next morning!! Here I sit, marveling that my cries to slake my parched spirit and cleanse me from this uncleanness were answered in such a powerful, miraculous way - much like what I see outside my window today.
I hear God saying that it is time to lighten our loads for the next season. We need to be spiritually and emotionally free. He wants nothing that will hinder us from knowing Him and doing His stuff. It's getting URGENT. What's in YOUR suitcase?
Being a native of a colder, more life-threatening climate, this time of year tends to make me anxious. To be sure, it's not like lacking firewood here would cause frozen pipes, and it's rare that a good rain will trap you in your driveway until help comes, but old emotional habits die hard. That gets me to thinkin'...
What bags did I pack when we moved to this place? Did I bring stuff that I could have left behind? I actually DID need my snowboots last year for the first time in 9 years, but do I really need this anxiety over the upcoming season? Did I even need it before we moved here??? What other useless stuff do I have in this bag? There's wind on this line of thought. Really.
Last week someone made a remark that took me back 26 years. It was delivered in a cold, slicing manner, and cut me to shreds. For some reason, I could not shake that damp, sinking feeling. It was shocking to me that this issue even still existed, but there it was, like a fly in a punchbowl. And, the enemy of my soul had been using it to hold me captive in ways seemingly unrelated to the actual event.
I had no choice but to cry out for His healing mercy. All that day, the Creator of the Universe labored in my heart to tear down my old idolatrous altar, long covered up by denial and self-control. Together, we rebuilt an altar to Him in its place. That night, I dreamt all night - cleansing dreams to renew my mind. What feedom I had the next morning!! Here I sit, marveling that my cries to slake my parched spirit and cleanse me from this uncleanness were answered in such a powerful, miraculous way - much like what I see outside my window today.
I hear God saying that it is time to lighten our loads for the next season. We need to be spiritually and emotionally free. He wants nothing that will hinder us from knowing Him and doing His stuff. It's getting URGENT. What's in YOUR suitcase?
posted by Fencemender | 10:42 AM
1 Comments:
What a beautiful essay!
I, too, was dreading the rain, but found it soothing when it actually came.
As we struggle through the exhaustion of multiple responsibilities and only just adequate ability, it is that urgency that drives us to do what can be done today.
Were it not urgent, we would never discover what God could do through our inadequate, depleted, distracted selves.
I'm probably too busy hauling the anvil to check and see if it's something I really need.
I'm just hoping somewhere there's a really grateful blacksmith waiting for it!
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